The former Miss Alabama USA took to Instagram on Monday night to candidly open up about how her life has changed over the past year, and reveal her battle to maintain her identity throughout all that’s happened.
“Honest policy: I’m struggling,” Brown began her lengthy post. “Life is so different. Since last August, I’ve been a pageant queen, a bachelor contestant, and the Bachelorette. I’ve been in love with multiple people, I got engaged, I broke off an engagement, and I shared it all with millions of people. My faith has been questioned by thousands who don’t know my heart, and my transparency with my decisions has labeled me promiscuous. Simultaneously, I’ve become a role model for young women and started bigger conversations around faith, and sex. // I’m living on my own for the first time and shuffling through this life of next steps with press, media, and opportunities galore.”
Hannah Brown on Instagram
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The 24-year-old continued, sharing that she misses her friends and family back home in Alabama who have “watched my life explode.” “I feel guilty because I don’t have the time or emotional capacity to fill each of them in on my life right now. I can’t keep up with the people that matter most, because I can barely keep up with my own life right now,” she wrote.
“I am not complaining about this past year of adventures. The woman who has emerged would shock the mirror-image young girl from a year ago. I have so many blessings to be thankful for. However it’s uncharted territory for me, and it’s been hard to really process what the heck is going on,” Brown said. “Maybe I needed write this out to remind myself I’m human and it’s okay to be overwhelmed. And maybe, I just needed to remind you guys too.”
The Bachelorette concluded her message: “Life is beautiful, but wild. I think it’s okay to be strong-to know you’re strong-but to still feel weak simultaneously. I believe that’s when the magic happens. My spirit has opportunity to grow and blossom from this place. Healing and restoration can happen. I can rest knowing that My Savior has compassion and wants to help and love me through this journey. I’ve just got to let Him. I don’t know if I have been lately — but I am now because honestly, I think I would give out if I didn’t. So yeah, I’m not going to struggle to disguise my weakness — I’m just gonna give over the keys to my main man Jesus and let him bless me through this ride. Isaiah 54:10.”
Just two weeks ago, fans watched Brown’s season finale of The Bachelorette, which featured her breakup from fiance Jed Wyatt and her boldly asking out her runner-up, Tyler Cameron, for a drink. She and Cameron got that drink a few days later, and he spent the night at her place in Los Angeles. Two days after that, he was spotted on multiple dates with Gigi Hadid.
“I have feelings, but I’m also single and he’s single and I wanna keep my options open and he can keep his options open,” Brown told ET last Monday.
“We definitely hung out and talked about everything and… I know nobody will believe me [about] just hanging out and actually talking but it was good to be able to catch up. We had a lot to talk about,” she explained, noting it was “a lot” like the pair’s fantasy suite date. “We are trying to figure out how we feel.”
Brown has since posted to social media about “letting go,” with fans speculating she was referring to her possible relationship with Cameron.
“If I was Hannah, would I feel great? No,” former Bachelorette JoJo Fletcher told ET on Thursday. “I would feel really crappy. And that fact that it is Gigi Hadid…”
“I feel like he should just do what he wants, what makes him happy. She should do what she wants,” she added. “They’re both single.”
Brown has received tons of support from Bachelor Nation for embracing her independence during her season of The Bachelorette — and afterwards. See more in the video below.